Monday, October 5, 2009

Life on Hold

It has been a while since I was able to blog.

A lot has happened since I last made an entry which I blame as the reason why I failed to update this blog of mine. My relationship ended and now, my house is flooded. Life has its ups and downs but sometimes it just feels like when you are down, it kicks you in the groin just to make you felt worse than you already do.

I thought that my relationship has been set on stone. We were 5 years. We seemed to have weathered a lot of problems and it seemed to be smooth sailing.

I thought that the area that I lived in was safe. In the 3 years that I lived there, I was far from any calamity or crime. It seemed to be a suitable haven from the pressures at work, a place I can retreat to so I can recharge and relax.

When life makes changes for you sometimes you are never prepared but one should always be prepared for the worse. One should always have something ready to catch him when the unexpected comes.

When these trials come, it may freeze you to inaction or it may fuel your drive. When I broke up with my partner, it made me a zombie. Each day passes and goes but all I do seem just to fill up time - in order not to think about him or our relationship. I was stagnating and it did not matter to me. When the flood struck my home, it forced me into action. Partly out of necessity, but mostly it pushed me and gave me a direction.

I haven't spoken to my ex ever since the break up. I did not know how I really felt - if I would welcome him back or if I had closed the door one last time. My life was on hold and there was no clear path to where I would be heading.

The flood brought to the surface what allowed to settle under water - other people in my life. I was needed by others and I needed others. The desire to be creative and to express myself surfaced. Hence, the return to my blog.


When my relationship ended, a part of me died. It took a flood for me to reclaim my life and feel alive again. Thank you Ondoy. Thank you people who man the dams and do not give proper notice that they would be releasing water.

19 comments:

  1. I enjoyed reading ur blog. Thanks that ur back, this only means that more blogs to come. I understand ur situation about the BF thing but hey, life must go on. Have a nice day ahead!

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  2. Wow! I just read some of your blogs and all I can say is that ur a writer I mean your very good at this blog thing. Honest,strong sincere opinion and very informative... I actually read one blog about Mr. Fajardo and u were practically right about it. Sorry if I took time just now to read some of this blogs you have. I hope in a few weeks time you will able to post another blog here. I cant wait for it. Thank you for the inpirational thoughts you have most especially your insights regarding on the current events which we normally talk about at the office. Good job! Two thumbs up!

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  3. I'm very sorry that your relationship ended. I believe everything happens for a reason, if it's meant to be then it'll bring itself to fruition. I know things look bleak and the world around you may feel as though it's crumbling, but just know that there are many people around you that care and are there to hold those broken pieces together.

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  4. just don't let all the negative thoughts overwhelm u - this u shldn't do right now. the flood and the breakup ... u may consider thinking that it's about time for u to learn to love yourself MORE.

    life is short yet beautiful. and hindi rin napakahirap ang ngumiti.. and be thankful still...

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  5. I too understand the feeling of having been beat down, couldnt get any worse, then getting beat some more. Maybe this is one way we can really find out who we really are....and what we're made of.
    Hang in there and trust in yourself. All my best.

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  6. Life has to, and will go on. Here I am looking for groups to join for men like me who need to keep this life of mine a secret, and then I read your post.

    I know you will do well, and even better, after all of these things that pain you, pass. I do wish you a renaissance of a new day. The other commentees are right you know. Hang in there, and don't lose faith.

    If anyone around knows any ggroups or ygroups that cater to men like me who are over 40, not really in search for romance, but just good conversations and friendships that might last a lifetime, I really would appreciate a mail at mrcarlos_72@yahoo.com

    Life is what we make it, as they say :)

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  7. This blog was so nice!!Love it!!It was so great!!Thank you for the post!!God Bless

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  8. i like here, were open. i want to join also here.

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  9. Hi.

    Silence again :-( Whatz up dude. Where are you? Come back and keep posting in your great gay blog!

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